Evangelism and weddings are two words rarely associated together in America. Within the Adventist Church in Indonesia Weddings often happen after evangelism meetings. Why? Because when I couple is living together outside the bounds of marriage they cannot be baptized unless there is a wedding planned on that day or within 24-48 hours – that is in Indonesia.
In Papua the first thing one notices is that the bride is made up with white make-up on the face. Why? I’ve received a variety of explanations from Papuans. Here are a few of the ideas I’ve heard: 1) White means more wealthy and since this is her day she should look more wealthy. 2) White means sadness that you have to leave your parents. 3) White means purity and the black face would mean impurity. 4) white is beautiful.
The Second thing I’ve noticed is that the bride often rarely cracks a smile. Why? I’ve received a variety of answers on this one too. 1) “To smile would mean I was happy to leave my parents home and that would be disrespectful.” 2) “To smile would mess up my make-up.” 3) “I’m nervous about this event.”
The Third thing I’ve noticed is that to kiss in public is embarrassing for the bride and groom. Maybe that’s the reason she wears white make-up – to cover her red embarrassed face. Pastors seem to delight in saying, “Where are you going to kiss her young man? Are you going to kiss her up high or down low?” The audience goads the groom on. There is lots of laughter. Clearly a public kiss is not a part of this culture.
Perhaps the funniest wedding I went to was the 5 couples who were married simultaneously in Sorong. The man running the Audio-Visual equipment decided that the wedding would be more interesting if the British Royal Wedding were playing on the LCD projector at the same time the couples were exchanging vows. In Papua they don’t kiss on the lips in public. When the royal video clip arrived at the royal kiss, parents went scrambling to cover the eyes of their children. They shouldn’t see a kiss between a married couple after all. But the video wasn’t shut off. They simply played it over again and again the same scrambling took place.
Another memorable wedding was the seven couples married along the Mimberamo river. All seven women were well with child. And the pastor said, “In a few weeks there are going to be some miracles around here.” I thought to myself, Yes it’s quite amazing to know that a 5 month old marriage produces 9 month – full term babies. Is that the miracle he was talking about?
Then this Sabbath the musical selection for the song after the vow and prayer was “A shelter in the time of Storm.” Hmm! Let me see! Is that prophetic of this new marriage?
Or what about the couple in Manokwari who when she wouldn’t answer one of the questions of the vow loud enough the new groom hit her over the head with the pillow they were using to kneel on for the prayer? This resulted in a small pillow fight until the minister basically said, “Now children, put your pillows back under your knees so I can finish these vows and have prayer so you can be married.”
Or the very pregnant one who obviously picked her wedding dress when she was less with child. The now tight mid section revealed the moving and kicking feet of the little tike inside.
Or the wedding rehearsal where the Pastor (not me) triple booked himself and we arrived 5 1/2 hours late. The Bridal party were all sleeping on the front porch of the church. In this case it was the Pastor who “tarrieth” not the bride-groom.
Maybe the saddest wedding was the one where the bride was asked to go change because her dress was white and someone felt she needed to “Be Honest” and wear the off white dress. Talk about humiliating to the poor girl.
Free weddings with the prayer done by the white missionary are a huge evangelistic tool used by a few of the pastors. I’m trying to help people understand that it’s better to get married before you do the things that married people do to produce offspring. In a future blog I’ll tell you what I’m doing to help with that goal. Stay tuned!
Both Parents lead their “sad” daughter who cannot show happiness. It might crack her make-up and might make her parents feel disrespected if she is happy.
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